


My eyes are damp from the words you left

by merlinfrostE



Series: Forgive my wayward soul [4]
Category: His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman, Merlin (TV)
Genre: Merlin being slightly creepy, Pro Magic Arthur, Sassy Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 12:58:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15486270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlinfrostE/pseuds/merlinfrostE
Summary: When Merlin stumbles Arthur is frozen in sudden horror as the creature rears up on its hind legs. He doesn’t think to reach for his sword, instead, falling over his daemon in a desperate effort to protect him. There’s a loud snarling roar accompanied by a battle cry and suddenly there is a figure standing between them, a powerful lioness standing by their side. They clash with the creature that gives loud screaming cries before it knocks the man's sword from his hand.





	My eyes are damp from the words you left

Out in the woods, Merlin and Arthur are free to do as they please. Arthur can hunt to his heart's content while Merlin races through the trees as a falcon, shifting mid-air into a little squirrel to run along branches before becoming a stag that bounds over fallen logs with ease. It’s a freedom they rarely get to indulge in that they almost don’t notice the danger until it’s too late. Arthur is watching as Merlin spins through the air as a raven, shifting mid-air into a black wolf and back to raven when his daemon suddenly drops to the floor as a panther, golden eyes flashing with sudden unease. The Prince is on his feet by the time they hear the loud screeching of the beast as it bursts into the clearing. The blonde makes for his sword but Merlin is rushing towards him, urging him to turn and run which means that he can sense that this isn’t an ordinary creature. 

When Merlin stumbles Arthur is frozen in sudden horror as the creature rears up on its hind legs. He doesn’t think to reach for his sword, instead, falling over his daemon in a desperate effort to protect him. There’s a loud snarling roar accompanied by a battle cry and suddenly there is a figure standing between them, a powerful lioness standing by their side. They clash with the creature that gives loud screaming cries before it knocks the man's sword from his hand.

“Run! Run!” The man grabs Arthur’s arm and drags him to his feet while the lioness rams her body into Merlin, forcing him to his feet. The panther hissed in rage at being touched while Arthur shivered violently but they kept running, hiding under a fallen log until the beast is gone. They stay hidden for a few minutes before they feel safe enough to move and actually look at each other. The man has long dark hair and a very sharp angular face. His daemon is a powerful looking lioness with striking blue eyes.

“You saved our lives, thank you,” Arthur muttered while holding out a hand to shake.

“Lancelot and this is my daemon Sephronia.” The man smiled back at the Prince, taking hold of the offered hand. It’s a pleasant exchange until Arthur notices the lioness extending her head to greet Merlin the way most daemons do.

“Merlin doesn’t like to be touched.” He says it to Lancelot but they all know he’s really telling Sephronia. This is how people and daemons are meant to interact with one another, not the way Merlin likes Arthur too. Sephronia glances at Arthur for a moment before moving back, respecting their space.

“Merlin? That’s a pretty name.” She says delicately which has Merlin’s tail flicking in annoyance. When he doesn’t respond Arthur winces when he realizes what he has to do.  
“Merlin is actually male.” Instead of the horror they normally get when Arthur talks to another daemon Lancelot and Sephronia just blink before nodding in understanding. For a moment Merlin looks like he wants to say something but still, no sound passes his lips. Arthur is both relieved and shocked at the pairs easy acceptance to his odd daemon and his own odd behaviours. When Lancelot slumps to the ground from a wound and Sephronia gives a low moan of pain Merlin is quick to step forward, offering them shelter to recover from their ordeal.

It’s a struggle to get them back to the castle but once the guards spot them help is quickly at hand. Uther and Adara extend their thanks to the pair by offering a guest room yet they do not thank them in person. Arthur thinks that will be the end of it all but for some reason, Merlin seems drawn to the pair even if he doesn’t talk to them. Because of this, they end up spending their free time inside the guest room listening to them talk about their dream to become a Knight of Camelot.

“I’d love to help you Lancelot but the law states that you must be of noble birth to become a Knight.” Arthur hates to shatter their dreams like this but in the end, it's better to hear it from them than some stuffy Knight. He sees the way Lancelot’s shoulders slump and Sephronia's eyes turn to look at the ground and it breaks something inside him. 

“Then just pretend you are Nobel.” Lancelot and Sephronia jump in fright at the unfamiliar voice while Arthur does a double take. Merlin is sitting by the window, black fur shining in the mid-afternoon sun while his golden eyes dance with mirth. Arthur stares open mouth at his other half who has never spoken a word in front of other people in almost five years while Lancelot and Sephronia watch on in silence. 

“We can’t lie. Besides, we’d be caught before we could blink.” Sephronia cried out which had Merlin’s smirk growing in size letting Arthur know he was planning something.

“Leave it to me, I’ll get you in.” And when Merlin turns to walk out the room Arthur has no choice but to follow least Lancelot and Sephronia discover their lack of a distance bond. 

“How exactly are you going to deceive our father into letting a commoner become a Knight?” He asked as Merlin began to lead them to the Library. The daemon looked back at Arthur with a blinding smile, his fur rippling with colour for a brief moment in his excitement that Arthur could have sworn he looked like a snow leopard for a second. 

“I have many talents Arthur or have you forgotten already?” Merlin teased good-naturedly. 

“If you get caught it will be both our heads.” Human warned daemon.

They slip into the Library, ghosting past Geoffrey and his sloth daemon. When they find the section they need Arthur stands guard as Merlin changes. The Prince expects a monkey of some kind so that his other half can actually hold the books. He jumps when instead Merlin once again becomes a human and it sends a thrill of fear through him. Its one thing to take the form in the privacy of their locked room, another to take it in a public place.

“And you call me a girl you prat.” Merlin scoffed when he felt the fear bleed into their strange bond. The blonde rolled his eyes while raven skimmed through the hundreds of books laid out before them, golden eyes quickly locating the one needed and flashing with magic to create the fake seal of nobility. With the job done Merlin reluctantly changed back into a panther and they both darted back to Lancelot’s room.

“What is that?” Lancelot asked when he spied the paper. 

Arthur opened his mouth to respond only to jerk when Merlin beat him to it. “This is your seal of nobility.”

Everyone takes a moment to just breath and compose themselves before Sephronia steps forward. “We don’t understand.”

“You are now Lancelot, fifth son of Lord Eldred of Northumbria.” Merlin continued to speak, continued to encourage the pair when they tried to back away from the lie. Throughout the whole conversation, Arthur is startled to realize that he hasn’t said a single word. For a moment it’s almost like they’ve switched roles and he’s not sure if he likes it or not.

“Why do you talk to them?” He asked as they walked down one of the many palace hallways.

“I like them. And they are important.” Was Merlin’s response.

“Important for what?” Arthur doesn’t expect an answer and he doesn’t get one, only the same knowing smile Merlin always gives him when asked these types of questions. Arthur goes to their room to do some paperwork, locking the door for good measure. Merlin watches as his other half works getting lost in the words as he does so. There’s only a brief moment of hesitation before he leaps from the window as a raven, gliding down towards the lower town where he easily spies the golden lioness and her human entering a familiar blacksmiths house. It's odd being so far away from Arthur in broad daylight. People and daemons alike don’t even give him a passing glance, assuming him to be just a common animal. It's amusing yet slightly insulting at the same time. For a moment he entertains the idea of changing in front of them all but if word got back to Uther and Adara they would know straight away.

Becoming a little black mouth, Merlin fluttered down to perch on the window frame, watching as Gwen took Lancelot’s measurements while Panex spoke with Sephronia. The hare and lioness talk easily with one another, smiling and laughing while their human's counterparts blush and stutter around one another. It was something that had always fascinated Merlin, how awkward humans were and how confident daemons were. Would he have been that awkward if he’d been born a true human?

Merlin spends the morning following Lancelot and Sephronia around, watching the normal interactions between people and daemons. When they start heading back to the castle for their meeting with Arthur as a nobleman Merlin thinks how easy it would be to just turn around and fly away, to keep flying and never come back, to fly away and be free from Uther and Adara and expectations. It’s a tempting notion, one that has crossed his mind once or twice before but he never indulges in it. He and Arthur may not have a distance bond but it would kill to be away from him for so long. He is nothing without Arthur, an incomplete coin without the blonde.

“You’ve never left during the day. Everything alright?” Arthur asked as they walked down to the training field to meet Lancelot and Sephronia. 

Merlin wants to say that everything is wrong. His skin his wrong, his body is wrong, their bond is wrong, the people’s idea towards magic is wrong, their father is wrong and life is wrong. He wants to say how completely fed up he is of this game of pretending they are forced to play, that he is sick of hiding and wants to run away to where they can be free. Merlin doesn’t say any of those things, instead, he smiles and nods while walking with Arthur to the centre of the field where their new found friends are waiting. 

“If you can last one minute against us you will become a Knight of Camelot. Are you ready Lancelot, fifth son of Lord Eldred of Northumbria.” Arthur calls as the other Knights gather around to watch. 

“Yes, Sire.” Lancelot bows his head while Sephronia stands at his side, ready for action. Merlin watches her with wide golden eyes, head tilted to the side in thought. 

“Your time starts now,” Arthur says but doesn’t move. While the Prince stands still and waiting, Merlin leaps forward towards Sephronia who gives a startled cry, only just managing to roll out of the way. The Lioness watched as Merlin swung round, his right paw coming up to smack her across the face. Thankfully he is only in training mode for his claws aren't extended. Recovering quickly Sephronia lunged, intending to grab the panther with her teeth around the back of the neck only to have Merlin twist, his front legs coming up to wrap around her own neck while his fangs rest threateningly against her jugular. It's so fast that she barely comprehends how she ended up in this situation before Merlin releases her and steps back. He sits down beside Arthur while Lancelot comes to her side worriedly. 

“Congratulations Lancelot, you passed.” Arthur praises which has them frowning in confusion.

“But Sephronia didn’t beat Merlin.” Lancelot pointed out which causes all the Knights and their daemons to start laughing.

“No one's daemon has been able to beat Merlin.” It’s Leon who steps forward to answer seeing how everyone else is still far too caught up in their own amusement. His daemon, Leauna, is a small white and brown Grey Hound who just screams kindness to all who see her.

“You lasted longer than I did, though I guess that because I’m smaller.” She said to Sephronia who blinked in surprise. When she turned to face Merlin and Arthur she is shocked to find them already gone like they’d never been there to begin with. 

There is a feast to celebrate Lancelot becoming a Knight where he meets the other brave young men that stand loyally beside the King and Prince. Merlin is silent once more despite Sephronia trying to engage with him to which the other daemons chuckle and comment on Merlin’s queer habit of never talking to anyone but Arthur. The lioness opens her mouth to protest seeing how Merlin not only talked to her but her human too but a quick glance at the Panther has her biting back her response.

Meeting the King leaves them trembling with nerves and fright as he comments on never knowing Lord Eldred of Northumbria had another son. Adara peers down at Sephronia with narrowed eyes before stating that its good to have a Knight with such a large and powerful daemon. They slink away until they are standing by Arthur and Merlin who much to their surprise are not surrounded by people.

“Merlin tends to…put people off.” Arthur shrugged helplessly while glancing down at the panther slumbering at his feet.

“I don’t see how.” Lancelot knew he should probably find it odd that they were talking about a daemon that wasn’t a family member to him. It was just something that wasn’t done but there was something about Merlin that just made talking about him and talking to him seem so right.

“I don’t talk to other daemons,” Merlin spoke up making them jump. His golden gaze bore into Sephronia who had slowly been inching closer during the conversation.

“You talk to me.” She pointed out.

“You matter.” Merlin offered right back. 

It had them all blinking, wondering what he meant but he didn’t choose to elaborate on the matter. Deciding to let matters lie Lancelot and Sephronia rejoined the party leaving the Prince and his companion to watch. Merlin supposed that it couldn’t have lasted, the good luck they had been having in regards to getting Lancelot into the Knight of Camelot. It had all run too easily, there had been no bumps in the road. Perhaps this is why Merlin wasn’t surprised when Lancelot was brought before the King the next day and forced to confess to the forged seal. 

Uther was not pleased. The King glowered down at the man while his lioness daemon kept her body low to the ground, ears pulled back. When Arthur steps forward to try and defend Lancelot Uther does not back down. Its how they find themselves standing outside a cell, Arthur filled with guilt. 

“You’re not to blame,” Lancelot spoke up but Arthur shook his head.

“Yes we are, we pushed you. We made you lie.” The Prince hated seeing such a kind and honourable man locked up for trying to follow his dreams. It wasn’t fair.

“The choice was mine and Seph’s alone. Our punishment is ours to bear and ours to bear alone.” Lancelot denied which had Merlin finally stepping forward.

“Loyalty, one of the many that will form the circle,” Daemon muttered confusing all. “You will be free from here, we’ll find a way.”

“Of that I am sure.” Seph murmured, head resting against the bars.

For a moment Merlin hesitated, body jerking as he fought against himself. Arthur looked at him and Seph, eyes searching before lighting up with understanding. His hand rested gently against Merlin’s back giving him a small nudge. When those golden eyes turned to look at him, suddenly filled with uncertainty Arthur smiled. “Go on.”

The daemon moved slowly, eyes wary and body tensed. Lancelot had stepped back, watching as Seph kept eye contact with the strange companion of Arthur Pendragon. She waited patiently until finally Merlin closed the gap between them and rested his head against hers. Lancelot only felt the slightest tingle of the forging touch through the bond. Arthur gave a full-bodied shiver, skin crawling and insides shivering. Noting the reaction Merlin was quick to pull back, eyeing his human side worriedly. 

“Still off limits then?” He ventured cautiously.

“It would appear so.” Arthur nodded.

It is silent between the four of them, a silence that is broken by the jarring sound of the warning bell echoing all across the city. Arthur’s head jerks upwards while Merlin gave a yowling growl, fur standing on end that has Seph tensing as well. When the pair reaches the courtyard where the other Knights have gathered Merlin gives a spitting hiss when he sees the same creature that attacked them in the woods circling above.

Despite their best effort, nothing seems to be able to kill the beast. Uther commands Arthur to ride out as soon as possible to defeat the creature. Merlin insists they head to see Gaius who has more knowledge on such creatures. They learn it’s called a Griffin and can only be killed with Magic. Arthur hates the idea of Merlin reading a spell book on how to kill the beast. Merlin relishes the chance to allow his magic to grow. 

“You don’t even seem concerned with the people this thing has killed, only that you now get to learn new spells.” The Prince growled out when they are alone in their room, Merlin sitting by the window in human form. 

“I do care!” The raven-haired male snapped, golden eyes flashing not with magic but with warning. “If I didn’t care I wouldn’t be trying to learn this spell. Just because I don’t act human when I look like one doesn’t mean I don’t care.”

It’s like a slap to the face for Arthur. It's hard to remember at times that Merlin is a daemon. Despite normally taking animal forms there’s just something about him that separates him from other daemons which causes Arthur to forget that at times he doesn’t express things like humans would. The words daemon and Merlin just don’t seem to fit like they should in Arthur’s mind. Merlin is so much more than a daemon yet is one through and through. 

“Sorry.” Merlin eyes Arthur for a moment longer before turning back to the book, muttering the spell under his breath. As the time draws closer and Arthur begins to get ready for the battle, Merlin slips away. When he reaches the dungeons he becomes human once more and with a flash of his eyes, they become blue while a little Merlin falcon illusion appears on his shoulder. He walks to the cell where Lancelot and Seph sit awaiting their fate, their eyes widening when they see him suddenly standing before them. 

“Hello?” Lancelot eyes Merlin, his voice making the greeting sound like a question.

Merlin declines to speak knowing his voice would be recognized instantly. Instead, he smiles, lifting his hand to unlock the cell with a spell before turning and walking away. By the time Lancelot and Seph catch up Merlin has become a little spider sitting quietly in the corner. For a moment Seph seems to stare directly at him before she shakes her head and follows Lancelot out of the dungeons and to freedom leaving Merlin to make his own way back to Arthur.

The ride out with the Knight to face the Griffin. It’s a massacre that ends far too quickly for Merlin’s liking. When the beast knocks Arthur to the ground Merlin roars. He’s about to face the creature that dared to harm his other half when the cry of a horse splits the air. Turning finds Lancelot and Seph racing towards the Griffin, a lance in hand.

“Loyalty,” Merlin whispered before shouting out the spell. The lance catches fire and the spell does its job, the Griffin crashing to the floor where it moves no more. Arthur sits up, his eyes wide in shock while Merlin walks over and gently bumps his head against the blondes. Lancelot rides up to them, dismounting to offer his horse to Arthur.

“You killed it, Lancelot.” Arthur praised only to frown when the dark haired man shook his head while Seph gave a small scoff.

“I merely helped things along.” He said causing Arthur to frown in confusion and Merlin to go ridged.

“You’ve done well keeping your secret. But perhaps next time you shouldn’t shout the spell for all to hear.” Seph admonished gently with a smile. When Merlin gave a low warning growl she ducked her head, eyes softening. “You secret is safe with us. We don’t share the hatred most have for magic.”

Arthur tries to convince Lancelot to come back to Camelot, confident that Uther will restore his Knight Hood when he learns that he ‘killed’ the Griffin. Lancelot declines not wishing to take the credit for something he didn’t do. They part on good terms, the Prince promising that once he is King things will be different, commoners will be able to become Knights and Lancelot will finally get to love his dream. They return to the Castle without their new found friend and get praised by Uther and Adara for a job well done. Inside their room, Merlin sits as a small black dragon by the window, his golden eyes staring longingly into the forest.

“You’ve been leaving more often, and during the day too.” Arthur points out causing those golden eyes to turn to him in a questioning manner. “It’s just that…if you want to leave…you can.”

“What?” Merlin looks stunned by the admission, his eyes wide and filled with confusion and hurt. It pulls at something deep inside the Prince, something he is hesitant to call love.

“Your not happy here Merlin. Your forced to stay in a single form most of the day, Adara is always scolding you and even with our extended bond, you are restricted to remain by my side. All I’m saying is that if you truly want to leave…you can.” Arthur hates himself for saying the words, hates himself for giving his daemon the chance to leave because if he’s honest with himself, he wants to leave to. The only difference is he cannot while Merlin can.

“I do hate it here right now.” Merlin sighs, body morphing into that of a black fur lion, a striking colour variation. “I hate it here because of Uther and Adara. But when you become King I will learn to love this place once more. And while I do wish to just leave at times it would kill me to leave you behind. My place is by your side you prat and nothing will change that. I hate this place but you make it bearable.”

It's like a weight has been lifted off of Arthur’s shoulders as he slumps down to wrap his arms around Merlin’s body, burying his face into the thick glossy mane. He’d been so worried that Merlin had been planning on leaving because of his constant vanishing acts but to hear that his daemon truly wants to stay by his side is probably the greatest gift that could ever be given to him. 

“I leave to learn, I don’t leave to get away from you. I will always come back no matter what, remember that.” Merlin whispered into Arthur’s ear and those words finally settled the Prince’s worries. His daemon is odd, he can go where he wants, his the same sex as himself has magic and can still change forms, one of which is a human form. Merlin is an oddity, an exception to the rules yet he will always remain by Arthur’s side.


End file.
